Having positive relationships through transitions, for some young people is essential, however sometimes, in certain cases; it can be argued that children could simply be left alone to deal with the transition themselves.
Firstly, we can look at positive relationships. If a child is provided with a positive home environment, where there is little or no disruption, both parents are present and together they encourage the child emotionally, socially and academically, in a safe and secure home, it is likely the child will feel protected and confident about changes taking places. They may not even notice particular transitions are happening to them. I was lucky enough to come from such a background and looking back, I do not recognise any transitions from my childhood being an issue at all. Actually they were not even recognised by my parents, we just grew up and that was it.
Positive relationships do not stop at home though. Teachers and staff at the school should provide positive relationships too. This is extremely important if the child experiences problems at home and is not encouraged and supported by their parents. Someone needs to be in the child’s life to offer support, notice that changes are approaching and to be available to help and guide the child as best as possible, whether this be supporting them emotionally or academically throughout the different transitions they are experiencing. Teachers and TA’s however need to be aware that they cannot become emotionally involved, they have an obligation to remain professional, and they must understand the limits of their role. With this is mind though, a supportive and understanding teacher/TA, is an excellent intervention for any child whether they have home support or not.
Building up a child’s self esteem and confidence, by providing a positive, happy learning environment, using relative, thought out interventions, will encourage that child to develop coping skills in order to effectively manage changes in their lives. It also offers a foundation for other pupils in the class who may be experiencing, or are about to experience the same change.
Friends and peers, regardless of age, can also have a positive effect of transitions. They may be going through the same transitions themselves, or they may have experienced similar issues to you. They are available to offer guidance and an ear for listening, a shoulder to cry on, or just the thought of knowing you are not on your own is a helpful intervention in itself. Friends are particularly helpful when a child is going through a unique transition such as their parents splitting up. They can offer support, empathy and companionship which can be priceless for that child.
Negative relationships can hinder a child’s passage through transitions. At home, parents may not be there to offer support, they may be busy with work or a younger sibling, and may not notice the child is encountering problems dealing with a change in their life. They could assume the child is old enough to cope alone and may not offer any emotional help. Or on the opposite side of the coin, they could be over caring, and may ‘baby’ a child to the extent that transitions such as starting primary school and detaching themselves from Mum, becomes almost impossible to deal with.
Friends could also play a negative part when a child is going through a transition. They could put pressure on you to participate in something wrong to mask what is really going on. For example, if you confided in a friend at school and told them you were being bullied, they could encourage you to skip school with them, so that you did not have to attend that day.
They could offer you bad advice if they are not experienced in the transition, and they may gossip about you or become competitive. They may just have absolutely no understanding of what you are going through and may be totally unaccommodating, leaving you to feel silly, isolated and that you must be the only one experiencing these feelings.
So, as we can see, positive relationships do significantly help when children and young people are experiencing normal and unique transitions. However, do we really need to aid children through every one of these changes with such force? ‘Normal’ transitions needn’t be a struggle for most children. Children should relish and welcome some of these changes, and be encouraged to think of them as stepping stones rather than ‘scary things that happen to us’. I feel that putting emphasis on every transition that happens will almost force issues onto the child and could cause stress and worry, and have a negative impact on the way they cope.
All children are unique, and have very different coping levels. I believe that a good balance between offering emotional support, and having respect for a child’s own ability to master the transition on their own, is absolutely essential.
H Akers
Showing posts with label Transitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Transitions. Show all posts
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
A theoretical transition period
Normal transitions can be described as the different stages of development according to Theorists such as Freud or Piaget. They can also be stages children go through like: Infancy to starting nursery, nursery school to infant school, then to junior school, then senior school and so on.
Normal transitions can be outlined as follows:
· Birth to 3 years
· 3 – 7 years
· 7 – 12 years
· 12 – 16 years
Birth to 3 years
· Being born and entering the outside world – having a difficult birth can be traumatic for the baby
· Learning and developing new skills – they are learning to focus, think, taste, textures etc.
· Teething – can cause discomfort
· Eating solid food and learning to feed themselves – weaning and start of independence
· Learning to sit up – seeing the world from a different angle, lots of praise
· Learning to crawl and walk - exciting
· Learning to communicate – this stage is important as they form a bond with parents, siblings and others, and they start listening to language
· Learning toilet training - independence
· Attending day care – they have little concept of danger, separation from parents
All these transitions are very exciting and interesting for children, and positive. They receive lots of praise as they go through these transitions. In most cases they are getting a lot of love and fuss. They are getting all the attention and praise, then as they move into the next stage: 3 – 7 years, suddenly they are not getting all the attention; they are one in a class of 30.
3 – 7 Years
· Learning and developing new skills – can be exciting
· Attending school, nursery or pre-school – separation anxiety
· Changing between different settings i.e. new school, new classroom, new teacher – bigger classes, less attention
· Leaving parents – frightening, as it’s a legal requirement rather than a choice, as the child has to go whether he wants to or not.
· Going to a child minder – separation anxiety if parents need to work
· Joining after school clubs – new people, change, new friends
· Leaving friends – change of settings loss of friends
· Moving house or relocating – change of environment, new settings
· Family structure change – moving from only child to first child
· Arrival of new sibling – having to share parents and toys
· Starting new activities such as sports – new friends, new rules
· Completing homework – means work rather than play
These transitions can be both positive and negative, as it can be exciting learning new things such as hobbies etc. but it can also be challenging as it brings change. At this stage children experience less pleasure than birth to 3 years. Separation anxiety can pass from parents to a child.
7 – 12 Years
· Changing to different settings – a frightening transition for some children
· Starting new school – big transition
· Leaving friends
· Arrival of a new sibling – quite common, and can affect a child as they will have to share affection of parents
· Moving house or relocating – upheaval of familiar surroundings
· Family structure change
· Meeting new friends – can be exciting
· Completing homework – less play and more work, having to meet deadlines, more stress
· Growing – can be exciting
· Onset of hormones/puberty – very difficult transition
There is a lot less praise during these transitions in a child’s life. There is also the added emotion as puberty starts. This can be a difficult time for teenagers as everything is changing and they are discovering more about life, and the human body, which can be scary for some. Often at this stage, things that children are going through map against things that parents are going through. Parents could be going through transitions themselves at the same time that children are going through transitions, like having another child, getting promoted or being made redundant, bereavement of grandparents etc. Parents may have to share their affection so the child may not feel so loved. Starting a new school is a huge transition for the child.
“Many primary schools make serious efforts to engage with the children’s early years experience, through contact with families but also with the local early years provision. In some areas, there is an additional transition between an infant and junior school. Many secondary schools have also made considerable effort to ease the move between the primary and secondary stage.”
(Lindon 2009)
12-16 Years
· Starting senior school – being at the top of the age hierarchy, now they have to start at the bottom again and work themselves up
· Moving to college, university or starting a job – more independence
· Leaving friends – difficult time, could cause insecurity
· Friendships change to relationships
· Leaving home to start at university
· Family structure change
· Completing homework – this can be so important as a lot of homework is course work and they will be graded on it
· Choosing options – taking ownership
· Examinations – lots of exams which will determine their future
· Hormones/puberty – very difficult time as they don’t really know what is going on in their bodies
· Moving house or relocating – a huge upheaval
Often at this stage, children are leaving home to start college or university. Some may be glad to get away from the home environment, while others may find it challenging. Parents may change their room into a shrine, which can be hard for the child, or parents may want to change their room into a guest room once they move out, so the child may feel ousted. At this stage, there are more enforced changes, as children are encouraged to be more independent.
The following is an example of how a transition in a 4 year old can affect the child:
Transition: Starting school
Pros of the transition – learn new skills; gain confidence, exciting, meet new friends, independence
Cons of the transition – separation anxiety, tiredness, learning to cope with new surroundings, frightened of the unknown
Intervention – Before the child starts school, children are invited to an open day, where they come in to the new setting with their parents for a visit. There after, the teacher and TA can do a home visit where, one person talks to the parent about her anxieties, asks about the child’s likes, dislikes, fears, and any health or dietary issues. The other person takes time to play with the child and observes child behaviour, etc. The children are then invited to come in for an hour for the first day, with or without their parents. No activity is arranged, but the child can explore the new setting, either on their own or with their parents. Times are staggered throughout the day for the children to attend so that there are only a few children in at any particular time. Each child is given an induction timetable to gradually help them get used to the new setting. (Vygotsky’s scaffolding strategy). Parents are encouraged to work in partnership with the teaching staff, to use positive dialogue only, when speaking to their child about their new school, and not to speak about their own anxieties in front of the child as they could be transferring their own anxieties onto the child. They are also encouraged to make the drop of sessions brief so as not to prolong the agony for the child. So often, parents linger when dropping off their child, and this can make it really difficult for the child. Phone calls can be made to the parents if certain children are really upset when they drop them off, so as to reassure them that all is well and they have settled. Distractions are used to help the child and get their mind off the separation. Later, budding up children can be useful as they can distract each other. The TA can pick up on the child’s favourite activity or toy, for example, trains or Bob the builder, when doing the home visit, and arrange activities around that, focusing on his favourite topic.
The following is an example of how a transition in a 7 year old can affect the child:
Transition: moving from infant school to junior school
Pros of the transition – learn new skills, hobbies or sports clubs, gain independence, meet new friends, exciting.
Cons of the transition – loss of friendships, anxiety of the unknown, change of age hierarchy, bigger school, new teachers, knock of confidence, commuting, and parent anxiety.
Intervention – Buddy time with pupils from the junior school. During the last term of the year, a class from the junior school visits the infant’s school, and children are buddied up to do creative arts sessions together. The older child is a mentor for the younger one. After a fortnight, the class from the infant’s school visits the same class but this time at the junior school, in their new class for September, also doing a creative fun activity. This process is repeated throughout the term fortnightly so that the children gradually get to know their new setting, and fear of the unknown is reduced. During their ‘buddy time’ they can play icebreaker games, and do exciting activities, working in pairs or groups. This will ease the anxiety and promote social interaction between the pupils. The children will also get to know their new teachers, and it will help the teacher to get to know personalities of the new pupils.
P Clarke
Normal transitions can be outlined as follows:
· Birth to 3 years
· 3 – 7 years
· 7 – 12 years
· 12 – 16 years
Birth to 3 years
· Being born and entering the outside world – having a difficult birth can be traumatic for the baby
· Learning and developing new skills – they are learning to focus, think, taste, textures etc.
· Teething – can cause discomfort
· Eating solid food and learning to feed themselves – weaning and start of independence
· Learning to sit up – seeing the world from a different angle, lots of praise
· Learning to crawl and walk - exciting
· Learning to communicate – this stage is important as they form a bond with parents, siblings and others, and they start listening to language
· Learning toilet training - independence
· Attending day care – they have little concept of danger, separation from parents
All these transitions are very exciting and interesting for children, and positive. They receive lots of praise as they go through these transitions. In most cases they are getting a lot of love and fuss. They are getting all the attention and praise, then as they move into the next stage: 3 – 7 years, suddenly they are not getting all the attention; they are one in a class of 30.
3 – 7 Years
· Learning and developing new skills – can be exciting
· Attending school, nursery or pre-school – separation anxiety
· Changing between different settings i.e. new school, new classroom, new teacher – bigger classes, less attention
· Leaving parents – frightening, as it’s a legal requirement rather than a choice, as the child has to go whether he wants to or not.
· Going to a child minder – separation anxiety if parents need to work
· Joining after school clubs – new people, change, new friends
· Leaving friends – change of settings loss of friends
· Moving house or relocating – change of environment, new settings
· Family structure change – moving from only child to first child
· Arrival of new sibling – having to share parents and toys
· Starting new activities such as sports – new friends, new rules
· Completing homework – means work rather than play
These transitions can be both positive and negative, as it can be exciting learning new things such as hobbies etc. but it can also be challenging as it brings change. At this stage children experience less pleasure than birth to 3 years. Separation anxiety can pass from parents to a child.
7 – 12 Years
· Changing to different settings – a frightening transition for some children
· Starting new school – big transition
· Leaving friends
· Arrival of a new sibling – quite common, and can affect a child as they will have to share affection of parents
· Moving house or relocating – upheaval of familiar surroundings
· Family structure change
· Meeting new friends – can be exciting
· Completing homework – less play and more work, having to meet deadlines, more stress
· Growing – can be exciting
· Onset of hormones/puberty – very difficult transition
There is a lot less praise during these transitions in a child’s life. There is also the added emotion as puberty starts. This can be a difficult time for teenagers as everything is changing and they are discovering more about life, and the human body, which can be scary for some. Often at this stage, things that children are going through map against things that parents are going through. Parents could be going through transitions themselves at the same time that children are going through transitions, like having another child, getting promoted or being made redundant, bereavement of grandparents etc. Parents may have to share their affection so the child may not feel so loved. Starting a new school is a huge transition for the child.
“Many primary schools make serious efforts to engage with the children’s early years experience, through contact with families but also with the local early years provision. In some areas, there is an additional transition between an infant and junior school. Many secondary schools have also made considerable effort to ease the move between the primary and secondary stage.”
(Lindon 2009)
12-16 Years
· Starting senior school – being at the top of the age hierarchy, now they have to start at the bottom again and work themselves up
· Moving to college, university or starting a job – more independence
· Leaving friends – difficult time, could cause insecurity
· Friendships change to relationships
· Leaving home to start at university
· Family structure change
· Completing homework – this can be so important as a lot of homework is course work and they will be graded on it
· Choosing options – taking ownership
· Examinations – lots of exams which will determine their future
· Hormones/puberty – very difficult time as they don’t really know what is going on in their bodies
· Moving house or relocating – a huge upheaval
Often at this stage, children are leaving home to start college or university. Some may be glad to get away from the home environment, while others may find it challenging. Parents may change their room into a shrine, which can be hard for the child, or parents may want to change their room into a guest room once they move out, so the child may feel ousted. At this stage, there are more enforced changes, as children are encouraged to be more independent.
The following is an example of how a transition in a 4 year old can affect the child:
Transition: Starting school
Pros of the transition – learn new skills; gain confidence, exciting, meet new friends, independence
Cons of the transition – separation anxiety, tiredness, learning to cope with new surroundings, frightened of the unknown
Intervention – Before the child starts school, children are invited to an open day, where they come in to the new setting with their parents for a visit. There after, the teacher and TA can do a home visit where, one person talks to the parent about her anxieties, asks about the child’s likes, dislikes, fears, and any health or dietary issues. The other person takes time to play with the child and observes child behaviour, etc. The children are then invited to come in for an hour for the first day, with or without their parents. No activity is arranged, but the child can explore the new setting, either on their own or with their parents. Times are staggered throughout the day for the children to attend so that there are only a few children in at any particular time. Each child is given an induction timetable to gradually help them get used to the new setting. (Vygotsky’s scaffolding strategy). Parents are encouraged to work in partnership with the teaching staff, to use positive dialogue only, when speaking to their child about their new school, and not to speak about their own anxieties in front of the child as they could be transferring their own anxieties onto the child. They are also encouraged to make the drop of sessions brief so as not to prolong the agony for the child. So often, parents linger when dropping off their child, and this can make it really difficult for the child. Phone calls can be made to the parents if certain children are really upset when they drop them off, so as to reassure them that all is well and they have settled. Distractions are used to help the child and get their mind off the separation. Later, budding up children can be useful as they can distract each other. The TA can pick up on the child’s favourite activity or toy, for example, trains or Bob the builder, when doing the home visit, and arrange activities around that, focusing on his favourite topic.
The following is an example of how a transition in a 7 year old can affect the child:
Transition: moving from infant school to junior school
Pros of the transition – learn new skills, hobbies or sports clubs, gain independence, meet new friends, exciting.
Cons of the transition – loss of friendships, anxiety of the unknown, change of age hierarchy, bigger school, new teachers, knock of confidence, commuting, and parent anxiety.
Intervention – Buddy time with pupils from the junior school. During the last term of the year, a class from the junior school visits the infant’s school, and children are buddied up to do creative arts sessions together. The older child is a mentor for the younger one. After a fortnight, the class from the infant’s school visits the same class but this time at the junior school, in their new class for September, also doing a creative fun activity. This process is repeated throughout the term fortnightly so that the children gradually get to know their new setting, and fear of the unknown is reduced. During their ‘buddy time’ they can play icebreaker games, and do exciting activities, working in pairs or groups. This will ease the anxiety and promote social interaction between the pupils. The children will also get to know their new teachers, and it will help the teacher to get to know personalities of the new pupils.
P Clarke
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
Changing times - unique transitions for children
Bereavement
If a child suffers bereavement this will be a transition that only they will understand, they will have to cope with emotional changes, they may become very shy and quiet, they may not want to talk yet at the same time still feel included, if mum has passed on they could revert back to becoming daddy’s girl /mummy’s boy , the child will need to be listen to so that when they are ready to talk will know someone will listen, they should be treated like any normal child not abnormal even though something horrible has happened.
Divorce
If a child parents separate or divorce this will be a huge transition for the child they will feel they are being torn apart, being a go between mum and dad, they would have to grow up that much faster, the son will take on the role of being the man about the house if dad has left and vice versa for the girl if mum left, they could become sad and lonely always thinking it could be there fault, this could affect their friendships at school and they can become withdrawn, they will always have to pick sides, and this could lead to the child not feeling wanted and not completely sure who to trust.
Violence
If a child has the misfortune to witness violence towards their mother that transition will be one of many that they have to cope with. The need to move them as far away as possible, leaving behind friend’s toys, and family will have the biggest effect on a child. For child A it did, she blamed mum for everything , once a sweet seven year old, turned in the ugliest child imaginable, she started to steal ,swear, kick punch and all at her mum, she could not get the fact that had her mum not done what she did, the repercussions could have been really dangerous. She had so much hatred so much so she was not allowed to go to school, because of fear of what she would to other children, she was home schooled for six months as well as seeing a councillor she was slowly coming to terms with new life, but it is always about her, she refuses to share anything she always has to be first, she has very low self esteem, she trusts no one.
R Fairless
If a child suffers bereavement this will be a transition that only they will understand, they will have to cope with emotional changes, they may become very shy and quiet, they may not want to talk yet at the same time still feel included, if mum has passed on they could revert back to becoming daddy’s girl /mummy’s boy , the child will need to be listen to so that when they are ready to talk will know someone will listen, they should be treated like any normal child not abnormal even though something horrible has happened.
Divorce
If a child parents separate or divorce this will be a huge transition for the child they will feel they are being torn apart, being a go between mum and dad, they would have to grow up that much faster, the son will take on the role of being the man about the house if dad has left and vice versa for the girl if mum left, they could become sad and lonely always thinking it could be there fault, this could affect their friendships at school and they can become withdrawn, they will always have to pick sides, and this could lead to the child not feeling wanted and not completely sure who to trust.
Violence
If a child has the misfortune to witness violence towards their mother that transition will be one of many that they have to cope with. The need to move them as far away as possible, leaving behind friend’s toys, and family will have the biggest effect on a child. For child A it did, she blamed mum for everything , once a sweet seven year old, turned in the ugliest child imaginable, she started to steal ,swear, kick punch and all at her mum, she could not get the fact that had her mum not done what she did, the repercussions could have been really dangerous. She had so much hatred so much so she was not allowed to go to school, because of fear of what she would to other children, she was home schooled for six months as well as seeing a councillor she was slowly coming to terms with new life, but it is always about her, she refuses to share anything she always has to be first, she has very low self esteem, she trusts no one.
R Fairless
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